Movie Review

This weekend, I really needed to take it easy and rest.  I've been developing a head cold for several days and this weekend, the worst of it hit me.  Although the weather was absolutely gorgeous, I just could not summon up enough energy to do ANYTHING......anything that is, except open ALL the windows to simulate the feeling of being outside and find a good, clean, wholesome flick to watch with Ryan.

On Saturday, while scrolling through instant Amazon videos, I thought I'd found the perfect fit. It was called "Wilderness Family." It looked wholesome and clean enough.  It was made in the 1970's and the general plot outline described a family who left city life for wilderness life to benefit their sickly daughter.  Good clean air and all that...

So, what I actually discovered was that this movie is perfect for "Mystery Science Theater'in" it up with the fam.  It's clean enough for the little ones that they will be clueless....but the movie itself is just...so....badly written, acted and directed, it makes for some pretty hysterical and priceless family moments.  As Josh summed it up, most of the money probably went to the booze the cast drank every day.  Or maybe it was tree juice?  Hard to say.  So, if you are interested, here is a short plot summary/review:

Upon arriving in the wilderness, Skip (the Pa), Pat (the Ma) and little Jenny (kid one) and Toby (kid 2) embrace and smile and their dog Crust barks with joy and you can almost see the rainbows and skittles falling from the sky behind them.  They are moving back to NATURE and they know nothing can be better!

 They move into a dilapidated old log cabin with a rusty stove and inches of  dirt and dust and most likely rodent feces and fleas.  I could almost see the bubonic plague greet them at the door.  Instead, a racoon wanders out of the stove.  No one even looks surprised.  Everyone stands around like, "Awww, how cute, a little raccoon." Little Jethro, I mean Toby casually picks him up.  Not to be realistic or anything, but that is just not very smart.  Most wild raccoons would a) probably run b) if caught, probably bite.  c) most likely carry some sort of illness. I'm thinkin' Rabies.

Secondly, the family is pretty much immediately chased out of the cabin by a bear which wanders up and begins to eat all their food, which they left out on the ground while they explored the cabin.  They manage to climb on the roof, which is about the bear's height if it had decided to stand up.  They sit in the rain to contemplate how this could have gone differently.

But the next day, all is right with the world.  Little Toby got to sleep with his new raccoon pet and everyone wakes up bright eyed and bushy tailed and begins to cut down trees and frolic through the open prairie, while random animals skip and jump by...rabbits and foxes and deer and such.  It really brings a tear to the eye and the viewer really begins to feel the burden of "city life." It makes you wanna just jump out of your skin, find some kids and dogs and go sit in the lap of Mother Nature.  The family begins building another, bigger, log cabin with their own two hands.  Everyone really enjoys this back breaking hard work and it's done with super cheerful hearts and smiles the whole way.  Even when they have to use handmade pulleys, which I'm guessing they made out of strings from their own long-johns and scotch tape.  In the end, their cabin looks amazing and rustic and cozy.

Not long into the movie, an avalanche randomly happens and no one is hurt except a mother bear, who is pretty much smashed under a pile of rocks, miraculously leaving two small bear cubs unharmed and orphaned.  So of course the family adopts them.  It would be cruel to do otherwise.  Not long after that, the two kids find what they mistakenly think of as orphaned Mountain Lion cubs.  They are scolded for bringing them home, because their mother might be looking for them.  Dad tells them to go play with the bears while he takes the cubs back home.  Dad sees no need to take his gun with him on this little errand.  Happily, they find the right den, but unhappily, Mama Mountain Lion does not seem to understand they are returning her little ones to her and tries to eat Dad.  Happily for them, good 'ol Crust saves the day and fights off Mama Mountain Lion.  With a few mere scratches they all part ways.

The movie goes on and on like this.  The family encounters some dangerous wild animal and walks away with scratches.  For example, the kids are told by a wise old nomad named Boomer, not to fear the wolves, wolves won't hurt 'ya, but be-ware of an old rogue Grizzly named Three Toes.  Three toes manages to ambush the women folk while they were picking berries and managed to break into their solid cabin, tearing out windows and breaking down the door, finally getting shot by the Dad who was starting to learn to bring his gun with his person when wandering around those parts.  The family has a decision to make after this little incident.  Dad tells the family they will go home unless Mom wants  to stay.  He then looks at her with big puppy dog eyes, obviously silently pleading with her to stay.  This seemed a little selfish and obvious to me.  She had to thnk about that.  So she walked two feet away to a rock jutting out over a beautiful lake and pondered for like three whole minutes of film time before turning around and joyfully proclaiming "Let's STAY!." Cheering commences.   Credits role.

That's when I discovered it's a trilogy.  Oh yes, that's right.  It's a TRILOGY.  There are three of these babies out there.  And yes, I watched the second one.  Not sure what this says about me exactly.  I guess it says when something bad happens, I can't just look away.  It's like watching a bad car accident.

I won't bore you with all the details on this one.  Just that I was supremely impressed that they survive the winter given their set of problem solving skills and know-how, and propsensity to break any life-saving device in sight, like the radio.   I will say, that I was supremely impressed that while frolicking in the snow and a mountain lion begins to stalk one of their adopted family members, baby bear number one, Dad goes all Rambo on it, except, without the gun, cuz he never has his gun on him.  Why should he, it's his HOME for God's sake, and it also just happens to be the wilderness.....anyway, he intercepts the Mountain Lion and BODY CHECKS it, while the lion sinks it's claws into his shoulders....they fall off a snowy cliff.  But no harm is done because there's like twenty feet of soft pillow like snow to cushion their fall.  Thanks to good ol' Crust, the mountain lion is scared away and everyone walks home and no doctor is even needed. Which is good because there ain't one around.  Something tells me that in reality that would have gone a bit differently. 

So to summarize the basic message I got out of these movies:
1.  Nature is amazing and beautiful and healthy! 2.  You don't need to be afraid of wild animals with sharp teeth who could eat you, likes wolves and bears. Bond with them, feed them, love them and we can all be friends.....except if these animals happen to have names like Scarface or Three Toes.  3. If you have a radio it will break and exactly the wrong moment and you'll be SOL.  Except, that you will have your Super dog Crust to save your hide when you do stupid things like put a little too much trust in nature or have too much fun frolicking. 

Anyway, next time you are in the mood for some good clean entertainment for your kids and in the mood to make fun of a really out of touch movie, I'd recommend this one!

Apple Picking

The last time we went apple picking, Ryan was about 18 months old.  They had this neat old tractor there and we took some pictures.  

Today, we went back to the same farm, Triple B to pick apples, get an old fashioned soda, and play on the tractor.  

They had some educational things about how apples grow and a piece about the bees who pollinate the trees. 

Brought to all the children by this really creepy fake talking bee. 

Before entering the orchard, we stopped to feed the goats.  This was very exciting for Dylan who continued to yell, "DAH-GEE" and bark.  

 And the apple picking began.  The apples were a lot smaller than I remembered and had some unsightly spots and holes, but they tasted good.  We picked both gala and honey crisp apples. 

It was also stinkin' hot and it was not long before we were drenched with sweat and the kids were pretty much done with the whole adventure. 

And of course, we had to ride the tractor before leaving.  I had strategically dressed Dylan in the exact same outfit that Ryan wore the last time we were here.  

And some of Ryan too....

 And then a few of them being generally cute by these enormous colorful tires.  Dylan really enjoyed running through the tires and Ryan enjoyed climbing on them.

Labor Day Camping Trip

We are going on a camping trip this Labor Day weekend! Oh, and since we have been too busy to officially plan a trip, we are going camping in our own backyard.

Josh is passing down age-old manly wisdom to Ryan.....

including how to set up the tent.  

 Ryan managed to throw several of the spikes for the tent into the hole Josh had been filling with the dog poop he had picked up so we would have a clean area to set the tent up.  Josh educated Ryan on why this was a bad idea. 

He showed him what the long skinny tent poles were for.  

That's about the time Ryan found the hammer.  He asked, "What is this....a banging thing...orrrrrr....(trails off).  Well son, that's a hammer and you're on the right track. 

In the end the tent got up. 

And Josh brought out the really cool stuff.  Like the lanterns and headlights. 

Here we go!

Goodbye Summer

As much as I love fall, it's sad to see summer come to an end. 

Last week, the boys spent some time in their pool.  It may have been the last time for the season.  Since that day, the weather has not been quite warm enough to get in the water.

Preschool

 I can not believe that last week, on Tuesday, was Ryan's first official day of preschool.  Some of the things he will be learning will not be completely new.  We've been practicing phonemic awareness, letter recognition and writing this summer.  We've also been working on recognizing and writing his name.  But we told him all about how he would learn his letters and to write them.

At his daycare, where "preschool" will be incorporated into his regular day, they have been preparing the kids too by taking them to the room and talking to them about their new big room and introducing them to their new teachers.

He was so stinkin' excited.  We got him all spiffed up in some "new" clothes (thank you Karrie Rooley), and he packed some extra underwear and pants in his backpack, along with some crayons and paper (just because he wanted to, not because he needed them.) He smelled a lot like a blueberry, thanks to his new Blueberry "Cars" shampoo. 

And then he posed nicely for a pre-preschool photo session.
Then I took him to daycare.  He ran into his sparkling new big boy room with eyes as big as saucers.  He didn't even wave goodbye.

At the end of the day, when I finally got to see him, I asked him, "What did you learn at preschool?"

He shrugged and said, "Nufthin," and went back to watching Diego on the iPad.

WHAT.

I asked him again. "What did you DO at preschool?"

He shrugged again and said in a bored sort of way, "Sang a song."

Is this the start of the bored, pulling-teeth responses about school? I thought I had some more time before that started!

Pumpkins

Last November, when our Halloween pumpkins were beginning to get mushy and gross, I tossed them in the backyard.  I did not want to deal with them. They had served their purpose and  they were gross and it was cold outside and I figured they would just decompose over the winter and my problem would be pretty much solved.

I did not think about them again until I noticed a funny looking weed growing near the flower bed this summer.  I looked a little more carefully and noticed the leaves looked just like pumpkin plant leaves.  I was pretty pleased that with literally no work at all, we had a pumpkin vine growing in our backyard.

All summer long it has been flowering.  I haven't even watered it.  Not once. But I was not sure if it would produce pumpkins or not.  But today, Ryan's sharp eyes found a budding pumpkin.

I'm already envisioning walking to the backyard in about a month, picking our pumpkins, carving them and making pumpkin pie.  Who knew pumpkins were so amazingly easy to grow??!!!